Hello! I start chemo tomorrow! Why the exclamation marks? I don’t know! But I can tell you I’m excited to get started. I am olympic-athlete levels of prepared here. This morning, I even drank a glass of tomato juice with green-drink powder mixed in. It’s not what nature, or anyone at all, ever intended, but I thought I could kill two birds with one stone so I only had to drink ONE healthy thing all at once instead of TWO healthy things. Any art student can tell you that red and green are opposite (violently opposite) colors and when you mix them they revolt by making road tar. And then I drank it. I’ve gone for a walk, sat in a pretzel in yoga for an hour, bought tomorrow’s already-prepared dinner from the gourmet grocery like we’re planning a party, and meditated on being the most kick-ass chemo patient the world has ever seen, all before noon — ommmmmm.
Last Halloween, I’d asked a few Nervous Breakdown contributors to share
Supposedly losing-your-teeth dreams mean high anxiety, so it’s no surprise that I’ve had more than a few of them. Bloody gums, teeth falling through your fingers kind of dreams. Teeth turning into shards of glass dreams. Yes, those dreams. The most memorable of them, perhaps, being the one in which, against my will, I snipped off my front teeth with nail clippers. Maybe the only sorts of dreams that bother me more are the things-happening-to-your-eyes dreams. I’m explaining this because in the first few minutes of 
I really love Kenneth Branagh. I don’t understand people who don’t love Kenneth Branagh (I’m looking at you, Joe Hawkins). But because I know such people exist (Joe Hawkins), I recently tried very hard to review Thor without my Branagh bias. It required that I get my Holly Golightly outfit on and explain a few things in an accompanying video I’m sure to regret. Find it all